Time really does bring healing… For the past few years I have been processing and healing the realities of broken dreams ~ not sure that broken dreams would be the right term? Maybe, healing from the harsh reality of my own naivety! It has been a time of finding my voice and building a firm foundation of my own belief system ~ learning to trust myself and the whisper of my soul. Answering the questions ~ Who am I? What is my purpose? What type of legacy would I like to leave? It has been a journey of crying, laughing, soul-searching, seeking, longing, frustration, hopelessness, awakening, anger, joy, amazement… a life fully lived, engaged, and faced with bold honesty! I don’t want to just exist ~ I want to be fully alive!
I have felt a great strength forming in my spirit. Though my heart breaks at injustice! My soul aches for the reality of humankind! There is something within the core of my being rising ~ a courage that I have never felt before! A deep sense of wisdom that is being birthed ~ a calmness that assures my sense of well-being.
I have thought about those who have gone before me that have had the courage to stand and speak their truth. Those individuals who have refused to conform to the mediocrity of injustice and have been instruments of change ~ voices of truth! Who am I to think that my voice would even begin to measure the magnitude of such strength and power? Who am I to think that it would not! Who are you to think that your voice will not provide empowerment and courage for another to begin to THINK! To question and explore the traditions and myths that they may have naively accepted as reality.
One of the most empowering realities of my life was when my mind was released into the freedom of asking ~ WHY? My heart, mind, and soul was awakened within the mystery of my own humanity. The answers became few and the questions exploded into an amazing adventure of enormous proportions! My finite existence within the infinite universe became this overwhelming wonder of what it means to breath, live, laugh, love, be… what does it mean to live?
I took a diversity class during undergraduate that changed me. I think that I left that class everyday deeply moved and some days even crying. Awakening to the racism, sexism, and injustice within our world; the social systems that elevate the powerful upon the backs of the weak and powerless ~ I became disgusted with my own humanity! After that semester I knew that I would never be the same person; however, I was not sure how I would ever bring all that was stirring in my being toward a productive and helpful entity for change.
Change happens one person at a time ~ one choice at a time. When I choose not to tolerate racism or sexism. When I choose not to participate in the ostracization of “those people”. When I begin to show loving kindness to those who have been deemed unlovable. When I begin to rise up and speak for those most vulnerable and empower them to find their voice, one-by-one, change happens… Again, I look toward the master liberator ~ Jesus!
Today as I sat at The Grove, http://www.thegrovechurch.com, I felt peace and knew that my period of healing had come full circle. I am ready… passion for truth and justice permeates my every sense of being! My foundation cannot be shaken. Trusting each day and praying for wisdom on the journey. As I type , John Mayer is playing in the background ~ Say What You Need to Say:
Even if your hands are shakin’
and your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin’
Do it with a heart wide open
A wide heart
Say what you need to say
Rise up and speak! In the words of Maggie Kuhn, Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind – even if your voice shakes!
